We reviewed every song on Taylor Swift's 'The Tortured Poets Department'

Taylor Swift’s 11th studio album, “The Tortured Poets Department,” was released Friday. But, surprise, it wasn’t just one album. She released a double album.

Swifties, who thought they were getting 17 new songs, actually received 31. No torture at all to Taylor Swift fans. But did we need 31 songs? Depends on who you ask.

Let’s break the album down.

1. Fortnight (feat. Post Malone)

I’ve warmed up to this song, for sure. During my first listen, I expected a bigger sound from it since Swift announced it as the album’s first single at 2 p.m. Thursday on her website — just 10 hours ahead of the album’s release.

I was shocked by how stark the lyrics to this first tune are. Swift says, “I was a functioning alcoholic” within the first 30 seconds, and the refrain includes the line “I love you, it’s ruining my life.”

I predicted these lines would be indicative of the tone of the rest of the album, and I was definitely right!

2. The Tortured Poets Department

As the title track, I also had high hopes for this song. It opens with the line, “You left your typewriter at my apartment,” which fans believe is a reference to Swift’s relationship with The 1975 lead singer Matty Healy, which took place after her breakup with Joe Alwyn.

Swifties were expecting a breakup album largely inspired by Alwyn and instead were met with what seemed to be a plethora of Healy-inspired songs. Rolling Stone reported that fans weren’t happy with this development.

the way we thought ttpd was coming at joe but instead she decided to shade EVERYBODY.

— bry ⸆⸉ (@clarabowlor) April 19, 2024

It’s inconsequential to me, as Swift deserves to write about whatever she wants — and whatever will help her heal from these experiences the most. Shoutout to the refrain on this track; I love the Patti Smith reference. If you haven’t read her memoir, “Just Kids,” I highly recommend checking it out.

3. My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys

This was the first track that stuck out to me on my listen through — one I knew I’d listen to again after I listened to everything once. The chord progressions on the refrain are incredible. Swift outdid herself on this, and it’s definitely in my top five.

Something I didn’t notice until the end of this weekend, however, is the line referencing the Barbie movie: “I felt more when we played pretend, than with all the Kens.” Brilliant.

4. Down Bad

I was down on this song initially. The beginning sounds so weird! I have to be honest: I was like, “Girl, where are you going with this?” I even texted my roommates to let them know I was so confused.

It’s definitely not my favorite on the album, but the melody has gotten better with more listens. Also, the line, “Now I’m down bad crying at the gym” has already become a meme and iconic tagline online and on social media.

5. So Long, London

It’s Track 5 time. Swift is known for her devastatingly beautiful tunes that always happen to hold the fifth slot in her albums. It’s a pattern fans have noticed since 2012’s Red — the fifth song on that album, widely regarded as her magnum opus, is “All Too Well.”

“So Long, London,” Time Magazine said, is a classic Track 5 song. It’s a heavy nod to Swift’s six-year relationship with Alwyn and a tribute to her love for his home city, London.

The breathing effects in the second half of the song really resonated with me and showed the gravity of the song. It’s one of her best, for sure. And, it’s one of the rare glimpses Swifties have gotten into her and Alwyn’s relationship.

6. But Daddy I Love Him

To me, this song was a nod to Swift’s country roots. Though it’s not a country song, you can hear hints of the inspiration in the beat. It’s definitely a classic Swift tune already, and fans have been buzzing about it online.

Namely, the line, “I’m having his baby / No, I’m not, but you should see your faces,” had Swifties laughing on the social media platform X. It was a gag meant for listeners to think Swift was announcing a possible pregnancy, but Swift then laughed back in their faces with the second part.

"but daddy i love him, i'm having his baby!
no i'm not, but you should see your faces" pic.twitter.com/2D82THAFfH

— celine ❣︎ (@gxldentaylight) April 21, 2024

7. Fresh Out The Slammer

This was sort of a controversial one for me because I didn’t immediately like it. It’s because it’s not what you’d expect from Swift, similar to many other songs on the album. It’s a great development, though, both in Swift’s sound and lyricism (though she’s always been a genius in that department).

This one is honest, and some have said it’s too honest. Basically, it’s about the fact that she knew what guy she was going to call first after her long-term relationship with Alwyn was over. Swifties believe it’s another tune about Healy.

8. Florida!!! (feat. Florence + The Machine)

I haven’t listened to this one too much yet because I was immediately taken with some of the other tunes first, but it’s great. I’m not sure what I was expecting from the collaboration with Florence + The Machine, but this definitely exceeded it.

The explicit nature of this and other songs on the album make Swift’s writing seem even more genuine and mature.

9. Guilty as Sin?

When I read the tracklist ahead of the album’s release, this was one that immediately stood out to me. It’s an acquired taste for sure. Here, Swift is extremely vulnerable and alludes to her feelings toward who fans assume to be Healy once again.

Swift sings about the ’80s Scottish band The Blue Nile and their song “Downtown Lights” — and Healy is a known fan, Elle Magazine reported. “The Blue Nile (is) my favorite band of all time … Musically, they’ve inspired me so much,” Healy told Vulture in 2016.

In this tune, there are also religious references, which is a big theme of the album. “What if I roll the stone away? / They’re gonna crucify me anyway,” the lyrics read.

10. Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?

Hands down, this is one of Swift’s best songs of all time. It’s a witchy callout to Swift’s haters and public persona that’s been perpetuated by media and paparazzi over the years.

“Who’s afraid of little old me? / You should be,” Swift sings. It’s a chilling refrain that solidifies Swift’s place in the music industry. She even refers to how much gossip has hurt her in the past with the line, “Is it a wonder I broke? / Let’s hear one more joke / Then we could all just laugh until I cry.”

11. I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)

I honestly didn’t really like this one. (Swifties don’t have to love every song!) It’s very well-written, but I’m just not a huge fan of the melody. Also, it has hints of Cyndi Lauper’s “Time After Time” in it, or at least that’s what I heard.

I can fix him! No really I can! pic.twitter.com/4iTDEIZ9TV

— snowglobe allie (swiftball era) (@reckedmaserati) April 20, 2024

12. loml

I have to be so real — this was the first one on the album that made me tear up. It’s a gorgeously heartbreaking tribute to the acronym “loml” which stands for “love of my life,” but at the end of the song it is revealed the title actually stands for “loss of my life.”

The piano in the background makes it even more heartwrenching. “You said I’m the love of your life,” Swift writes, which turns into “You’re the loss of my life” at the end. I

13. I Can Do It With a Broken Heart

We’ve arrived at my favorite song on Swift’s new record.

And, from what I’ve seen online and on social media, it’s a lot of other Swifties’ favorite song as well. The pop tune includes some of Swift’s most horrific lyrics, but it’s set to a super bubbly synth beat. It’s hilariously ironic, in my opinion.

Also, the sampling of her earpiece track during the Eras Tour makes the meaning of the song even more powerful. This will definitely be the pop anthem of the summer.

HER EAR PIECE TRACK PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND OF I CAN DO IT WITH A BROKEN HEART?????? EVERYONE ELSE NOTICED THAT RIGHT???

— this is brie trying????HEARD CLEAN (@brietrying13) April 19, 2024

14. The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

Until the bridge of this song, I was relatively unimpressed. There are some good lines as always, but it just sounded a lot like Swift’s album “evermore” to me, especially with the constant pulse in the background.

But, this bridge — oh my God! It has to be one of her best yet, and Swift has countless amazing bridges. Namely, the bridge in “Cruel Summer” is a crowd favorite. The bridge bumped this song into my top 10 of the album.’

15. The Alchemy

It’s Travis Kelce’s moment to shine in Swift’s discography!

Swifties believe this song is about Kelce due to its game- and team-related lyrics. “These blokes warm the benches / We been on a winning streak,” she writes, for example. Also, there’s a reference to the Chiefs’ Super Bowl win with the lines “Where’s the trophy? / He just comes running over to me.”

THIS IS THE ALCHEMY EDIT pic.twitter.com/u5tzDazNkU

— isabella⸆⸉ (@i_justlikecats) April 21, 2024

16. Clara Bow

This is the last song in the first album, which Swift released at midnight. Fans had been toying with the idea of a possible double album due to the “two” imagery and how many times Swift herself had flashed a peace sign recently. Turns out, they were right.

“Clara Bow” is a soft and sweet tribute to Swift as a little girl and how her fame has grown. It discusses how she was told she looked like various famous people, such as Stevie Nicks from Fleetwood Mac. She even sings her full name in the tune in the line “You look like Taylor Swift / In this light … You’ve got edge / she never did.”

17. The Black Dog

When I tell you I screamed at 2 a.m. when the double album was confirmed, I mean that with the utmost sincerity. It was the best surprise, and I didn’t even mind losing more sleep! This opening tune was awesome. It’s a meditation on being heartbroken.

“I just don’t understand / How you don’t miss me,” Swift writes. No longer as close as she once was with the person, she also references how secrets aren’t shared anymore. “And your location / You forgot to turn it off,” she sings.

18. Imgonnagetyouback

I wasn’t a huge fan of the instrumental backing on this song. The lyrics and melody are great, but the whole tune didn’t jive together in my mind.

19. The Albatross

I really liked this song during my first listen. But, I haven’t listened to it much since, so I don’t have many thoughts yet. As a journalist, I really appreciated the line, “Wise men once read fake news / And they believed it.”

Some have said this tune could also be about Kelce, but I don’t think I’d say I agree. In my opinion, I believe it’s more of an overarching perspective Swift wrote about herself and what people say behind her back or say to guys she may be interested in.

20. Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus

I have no idea what’s happening in this song (lol), so if anyone knows, send me an email! I do have a lot of knowledge of Taylor Swift lore, but this one is beyond me. Please tell me where the names in the title are coming from.

It’s a very pretty song, for sure. To me, this song also falls in the “evermore” category of perfect relaxing music to listen to while reading or writing.

21. How Did It End?

This was so chilling. It was definitely one that stood out to me in the second album, or anthology, as Swift called it. The repetitive piano and vocals in the intro conveyed a sinister mood.

Also, some have realized that since Swift branded it as a double album, this would be a second Track 5. That completely checks out to me. I highly recommend listening to this one a few times if you haven’t — it gets better each time.

22. So High School

This is Kelce’s second confirmed feature on the new album(s), at least, according to the Swifties, and they’re excited.

the way so highschool is the first true, anxiety-free love song we’ve gotten in a long time :’)

— bethany ♡ tortured poet ???? (@corneliastagain) April 22, 2024

The song references an old interview where Kelce was asked to play the “marry, kiss or kill” game, and he said he would kiss Swift.

oohhhh my god this is THE so high school edit pic.twitter.com/APfbAXQArO

— luella is a tortured poet ????‍⬛ (@cruellasummer13) April 21, 2024

23. I Hate It Here

This is yet another “evermore”-esque song for me, but not in a bad way. It’s a calming yet sad track that acknowledges the negative sides of society and nostalgia overall.

“I’m lonely, but I’m good / I’m bitter but I swear I’m fine,” Swift sings the touching lyrics.

24. thanK you aIMee

This song is so funny to me. Swift was so bold for literally capitalizing the letters that spell out “KIM,” a reference to her longtime feud with Kim Kardashian and her ex-husband Kanye West, now Ye.

The song is about a school bully, and the lyrics have a vengeful theme: “All that time you were throwing punches / I was building something / And I couldn’t wait to show you it was real.”

Swift even includes a reference to Kardashian’s daughter North West, who is a fan of Swift’s music. “One day your kid comes home singing / A song that only us two is gonna know is about you,” the lyrics read.

25. I Look in People’s Windows

As a fellow people-watcher, I appreciated this song on the album. It could be misconstrued as kind of creepy, and from an outside perspective, it definitely is. However, the lyrics tell a different story.

“I look in people’s windows / In case you’re at their table / What if your eyes looked up and met mine one more time,” they read. I believe the track is more about longing for bygone times than anything.

26. The Prophecy

To me, this song belongs in the top five of Swift’s saddest songs ever. It joins the ranks of “Better Man” and “Ronan” in my opinion. I don’t think Swift has ever displayed such raw emotion like she has on this tune.

She pleads for her prophecy to be changed — for her to be the one who is happy for once. “Please / I’ve been on my knees / Change the prophecy / Don’t want money / Just someone who wants my company,” Swift sings.

The second half conveys so much loneliness, and it sheds light on what life must be like for Swift in the public eye.

27. Cassandra

This one also didn’t stand out initially in my opinion. It’s very reminiscent of Swift’s album “folklore,” which was released during the pandemic as a surprise in July 2020. However, the more I listen to it, the more fond I become.

The repetitive piano melody gives it an almost waltz quality. Some are alleging this song also references Swift’s true feelings about Kim Kardashian’s silence, as reported by Elle Magazine.

28. Peter

No doubt, this song is in my top five on the new album. It’s supposed to be a reference to Peter Pan, but in my opinion, it goes deeper than that.

When I listen to this song, I’m reminded of a significant other who promised to find you again in the future when the timing would be better for the relationship to work out, and I believe that could’ve been part of Swift’s inspiration for this one.

“You said you were gonna grow up / then you were gonna come find me,” Swift sings. These lyrics shed light on broken promises and unrequited love to me.

29. The Bolter

I’m honestly still trying to decipher the meaning behind this one, so by all means, once again, if you know more, let me know! It seems like the story is about Swift herself, but I didn’t think she was the “bolting” type.

It’s still one of my favorites on the album, though. The melody is light and airy, and I definitely foresee me blasting this in the car with the windows down this summer.

30. Robin

This is one of my least favorites on the album. It just didn’t stand out to me. I do need to clarify, though, when I say least favorite, that doesn’t mean I didn’t like it overall.

I want to listen to this one a few more times to really get a feel for its intentions. Maybe it’ll grow on me, who knows?

31. The Manuscript

The finale hits hard — I’m not even going to sugarcoat it. It opens with a few chords that remind me of a musical theatre number that really punches you in the gut. Similar to The Prophecy, Swift outdid herself on this one, literally.

We as listeners are given another rare, authentic glimpse into Swift’s psyche. “The Manuscript” is a beautiful song, but it’s once again a very heartbreaking one, similar to the vibes of “loml.”

“Now and then I re-read the manuscript / But the story isn’t mine anymore,” the lyrics read, ending the album.