Bob Lancia has felt heartache twice.

One time the hurt was healed — with a heart transplant last year at UPMC Presbyterian in Oakland.

But the other pain will ache for the rest his life — grieving the loss of his oldest son, Zach, 30, in 2017.

Lancia of West View shared his story from the office of the doctor who performed the transplant — Dr. Christopher Sciortino, surgical director of the Advanced Heart Failure Center at UPMC Heart and Vascular Institute.

Lancia talked about the unbelievable challenges of the past 10 years while sitting next to his wife, Donna. Their emotions often overflowed into tears as they described their deepened appreciation for the gift of life.

The heartache began when Bob Lancia had a mild heart attack in 2010. He was diagnosed with left dilated cardiomyopathy in 2014, had a pacemaker and defibrillator implanted, and also a heart pump. The death of his son resulted in worsening health for Lancia. He would need a heart transplant.

The call

Lancia remembers the moment he received the call about the heart on Feb. 2, 2019. He had just finished walking on a treadmill when the phone rang. He recognized the caller ID. He answered and heard the words: “We have a heart for you.”

He put the phone down, told his wife, took a quick shower because he knew he might not be able to shower for a while.

“I was shaking,” Donna Lancia said.

There is one heart, but 100 people involved in getting it to the recipient.

According to UPMC, as of Thursday, there were 3,709 people waiting for a heart transplant. Last year, 3,552 people received a heart transplant. UPMC performed 39 heart transplants last year.

“It charges me up to get word of a heart,” Sciortino said. “But I also realize that someone had to die to get that heart. So you won’t get that heart unless it is perfect for you.”

Lancia, 56, wrote a letter to the male donor’s family, telling them he realized their loved one had to die in order for him to receive the heart on Feb. 3, 2019. He thanked them and wrote that he understood their grief of losing a loved one.

“I told them I will take care of this heart and make it last,” said Lancia, who is open to meeting the donor family.

“I’ve thought about what I would say, but what I would say would be so inadequate,” he said. “I would say thank you many times over. We can empathize with them.”

The heart of grief

In one way to show their appreciation for receiving a new heart, Bob and Donna lead a griefshare support group at Northway Christian Community church in Pine for those who have lost a child.

Their son had a heart condition that they didn’t know about. The pain of losing him unexpectedly affected their health — worsening Bob’s underlying heart problems and causing Donna the emotional grief of a broken heart.

“We want to help others who have been through what we have been through,” Donna Lancia said. “I was so devastated over the loss of my son and I was afraid I would also lose my husband. I am thankful for every extra day he has had.”

Donna Lancia kept a journal recording her thoughts and feelings about not being able to help heal the man she’s been married to for 35 years and loved much longer.

“His recovery was so hard, but being there for him was part of our wedding vows — in sickness and in health,” she said.

The couple grew up on the same street — Perryview Avenue — in Observatory Hill. There was a time as teenagers when Bob was living in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., and Donna came to visit and they walked along the beach. After the transplant, one of his bucket list entries was to revisit that beach hand-in-hand — which they did. On Feb. 25, they enjoyed a walk under the bright sun, walking barefoot, sand underneath their feet, with smiles on their faces.

A rocky road

The road they’ve traveled hasn’t been an easy journey, but the couple said having such a supportive health care team at UPMC alongside them has made the medical challenges more bearable.

They recalled the support of doctors, nurses, therapists, and aides, and everyone at the hospital offering words of encouragement. Before the transplant, Bob Lancia walked the halls connected to a heart assist device; with tubes and wires, the artificial heart was pumping blood through his veins. As he watched a video of himself, he choked up and said he was wondering where those steps would lead.

Even though he was told he was too ill for a transplant, he never gave up, because he knew he had doctors advocating for him.

He continued to fight to honor the memory of Zach, as well as to be there for sons Josh and Ryan and his wife.

He created a bucket list which included the Fort Lauderdale trip, going to Disney Springs with his wife and Disney World with his grandchildren.

Leading the way

Dr. Ravi Ramani is the director of the UPMC Integrated Heart Failure Program at the UPMC Heart and Vascular Institute. He is the one who led the fight for Lancia to get on the list for a donor heart, said Sciortino.

“I had the job of helping a patient,” Sciortino said. “This is important to me. Bob is who we see looking up at us from the table. He is the human side of medicine. It’s not what makes us famous or money. People like Bob are why I do what I do. And we thank him and his wife for all of their sacrifices.”

Sciortino said Lancia was high-risk but lauded Ramani for his quest for a heart for Lancia.

“The heart is a very precious organ when it comes down to donation,” Sciortino said. “Lungs can go to two people, kidneys can go to two people, a liver can go to two people. When it comes down to donation for a heart, it is one donor, one recipient.”

Artificial heart

By 2018, it was determined that Lancia would need a transplant, but that was extremely dangerous. His body was shutting down.

For a short time he was on a Centrimag, a heart assist device. It was installed in September 2018.

In October 2018, Lancia had an operation to receive an artificial heart, which he thought he would have for a while.

Four months later, he got the call about the heart donor.

From that moment, he said, he committed himself to taking care of his new heart. The human connection between doctor and patient, he said, is so important to keeping that commitment.

That’s why he cried when Dr. Raj Padmanabhan, a UPMC cardiothoracic critical care physician, walked in that day to Sciortino’s office.

“It was a challenging time,” Padmanabhan said. “But we did everything we could to keep things positive, and get him where he needed to be. We have a team here that cares. I told him, ‘In honor of your son, we will push forward.’ ”

“Dr. Raj was very, very key to my day-to-day healing and recovery while I was in the (cardiothoracic intensive care unit),” Lancia said. “He was particularly key after my heart pump surgeries. Dr. Ramani was vitally important in the fact that, after I was originally rejected for any type of heart surgery, he gave me the names and information of other doctors and facilities where I could get other opinions. And at the same time he constantly advocated to the UPMC staff that they reassess my case. Dr. Sciortino saved my life with the transplant. These three men are super heroes.”

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