Plum considering policy on memorials following pleas from grieving mother

A Plum mother still grieving the death of her son two years ago says a proposed school district policy on memorials is not perfect, but it’s a start.

“I do think they are trying,” Jennifer Martinez said.

Martinez called for the district to develop a policy after finding none existed as she sought to ensure that her son, Mark Matesic, would be recognized with his graduating class of 2024. Matesic, a student at Plum since kindergarten, was 16 when he died by suicide in March 2022.

How students are honored or remembered should not be left to the whim of the district’s administration at the time, she told the school board during a meeting May 14.

“Unfortunately, Mark was not the first or the last student that we’ve lost at Plum,” she told the board. “This issue will continue to come up. And unless the district comes up with a policy that addresses this, many other families, students and friends are going to be offended and downright lose respect for the district.”

Matesic was in the JROTC program at Plum High School and a junior firefighter with Plum’s Unity department and in Pitcairn. Martinez created The Mark Matesic Memorial Foundation, which awards scholarships to JROTC members and junior firefighters pursuing post-secondary education.

“Yes, my son died by suicide. But that does not define his life and the true hero he was to many of us in this community and in the school district,” Martinez told the board.

Martinez said she felt misled and lied to as she and her son’s classmates sought to have him remembered in the yearbook and at graduation. She bought and distributed bracelets for the graduates to wear.

“You have made me fight a fight I should never have had to fight,” Marintez said to the board. “You have made me relive losing my son again. You have made me feel that my son’s life was less important than others because of how he passed.”

Breaking with normal meeting protocol, Superintendent Rick Walsh said he agreed with Martinez that she shouldn’t have needed to be there. The lack of a policy was a challenge, he said.

“Your wishes of having something defined is our wish also,” he said. “I think we want the same thing. We want to acknowledge your son, and we plan on doing that at graduation.”

While Walsh said Matesic’s name at the end of the ceremony, Martinez said she thought he would have said more.

“I think Dr. Walsh tried to do the best he could,” she said.

Policy details

The proposed four-page policy provides guidelines for memorial tributes after the death of a current student or staff member.

Under the policy, when a memorial is requested, the school principal will create and chair a memorial committee of staff members to consider the establishment of a memorial.

Temporary school memorials would be allowed within a school for up to one week. They would include flower arrangements, banners, pictures, notes, stuffed animals and locker and desk displays.

Permanent memorials are limited to a dedicated book, an established scholarship fund or similar item with educational meaning.

Existing memorials established before the adoption of the policy would remain intact unless the district decides it is necessary to move or remove them.

A student or staff member may be acknowledged in the yearbook in the year of their death, if it occurs before the final yearbook deadline. The acknowledgement, bought by the school, can be up to one page and can include the person’s name, dates of birth and death, and school activities in which they participated.

Diplomas will be awarded to students who died during their graduating year. Private arrangements will be made for families to accept diplomas at their home or at school.

At the graduation ceremony, a word of recognition about the tragedy may be acknowledged, assuming there is universal agreement to do so, and any tragedies would be addressed at the beginning of the ceremony, the proposal states.

Several memorial practices would not be allowed. They include formal schoolwide recognition of anniversary dates; memorials after a death from suicide that glamorize, romanticize or stigmatize the act of suicide; those that require the use of public funds to buy, develop or maintain; memorials or ceremonies requiring changing the routine of a regular school day or activities; monuments, statuaries, gardens, markers or permanent memorials containing pictures of the deceased on school property; and flying the flag at half-staff.

While the policy also would prohibit naming district grounds or facilities purely for memorial purposes, it would not prevent the school board from doing so “for an individual who was a significant contributor to the district … based on that individual’s contributions to the school district.”

Under the policy, the district would not maintain or lead in soliciting memorial funds.