One of the many historical uses of the cairn, a man-made stack of stones, is to mark a trail, as a means for travelers to find their way.

For Joe Walko, 53, of Murrysville, the cairn served as a perfect metaphor for the grieving journey he began when his wife Debbie died of breast cancer in July 2012.

“The cairn became my literary device,” said Walko, who suddenly found himself a single parent to 9- and 12-year-old boys, writing online blog entries in the wake of his wife’s death. “They became my metaphor for the special people that help show you the way along this sort of ‘hero’s journey’ of grief.”

“Cairns” is also the title of Walko’s first book, after self-publishing “Evening’s Light: A Journey with Grief” about two years after his wife died.

Walko said words and emotion simply came pouring out of him when he started the blog.

“I don’t know where the words came from, I just channeled them,” he said.

Walko began receiving responses to his raw, honest writing, and said he “just rolled with it.”

He quit his finance job, enrolled in writing classes at the Community College of Allegheny County and joined a writer’s group in his hometown of Plum.

He also began paying closer attention to the “cairns” that showed up in his life. That included a woman he met through his blogging, whose husband died of cancer just a few weeks before Walko’s wife and is buried next to his wife in Plum Creek Cemetery.

The couple now lives together in Murrysville.

“I’ve been so blessed to have had the gurus and angels I’ve needed to guide me through the tough times after my wife died,” Walko said. “It’s miraculous in so many ways, which is why I had to write this book, to fully tell this amazing story, and to hopefully inspire others to follow their cairns, too.”

In addition to his writing and work for a regional energy company, Walko also helps at a local bereavement group at Our Lady of Joy Parish in Plum.

“As I sit in the group, I see myself in all of the stages of the grieving process,” he said.

And as with the path that has worked so well for him, Walko encourages others to follow their own “cairns.”

“Following your cairns is not easy, but I guarantee it will lead you on the most amazing adventure of a lifetime, to places you never envisioned, and might even help you blossom into the person you were always meant to be,” he said.

“Cairns” is available at Amazon.com.

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