A candlelight vigil is planned Thursday night in memory of Tayson Foltz, the Franklin Regional student who was found dead outside the senior high school last weekend.
The event will be held at 7 p.m. at Newlonsburg Presbyterian Church, 4600 Old William Penn Highway in Murrysville.
Family members said in an obituary that Foltz had a passion for music, art and poetry. He was a member of the Franklin Regional Panther Marching Band and a former member of the school’s pole vault team.
“He was like a ray of sunshine anytime you’d see him,” said pole vault coach Bruce Corna Jr., who coached Foltz during the teen’s junior high school years. “He had a smile from ear to ear, and was seemingly always happy.”
At Newlonsburg Presbyterian Church, Pastor Curtis Paul said younger members of the congregation approached him on Sunday about organizing a vigil for Foltz. Newlonsburg’s ministry team was available Monday and held a 7 p.m. service at the church, located near Franklin Regional Senior High School.
“In a tragic situation like this, we respond with the presence of Christ — empathy, care, compassion and mercy,” Paul said. “We made the choice to open the sanctuary and set up prayer stations, which will also be in place Thursday at 6 p.m. prior to the vigil.”
Foltz’s body was found about 6 a.m. Sunday behind the high school near the gym entrance. He had died by suicide, school officials said.
Paul said a member of his congregation who is a professional counselor brought her therapy dog to the church on Monday, and during the course of the day about a dozen teens came in to talk, reflect or pray.
No ‘one-size-fits-all’
Jami Dumler, director of clinical programs and a practicing therapist with Thriveworks mental health, said there is no “one-size-fits-all” situation when it comes to the ways grief can manifest itself.
“As a whole, it’s a similar process for adults and teens,” Dumler said. “But in teens, their frontal lobes aren’t fully formed yet, so some of these big existential questions about life and loss? They’re not always equipped for that, and they can really use the guidance and support of an adult.”
Dumler said parents of grieving students should not avoid what could be a difficult conversation.
“You want to be direct and not talk around the loss,” she said. “I would ask them, ‘This happened at your school. I’m a little worried about you, and I would like to talk.’ ”
“You want to reassure them, ‘I’m here to listen. Whatever questions you have, I’m here to listen nonjudgmentally, and we’ll get through this together.’ ”
Paul created several videos for Newlonsburg Presbyterian’s Facebook page centered around grief — including one that explored the way the church views suicide — after he said he was approached by multiple people asking about it.
“My hope and faith in Jesus Christ leads me to believe that when someone is in despair to the point that they are choosing to take their own life, that God’s heart is breaking in that moment for that person,” Paul said. “So my simple answer is that yes, suicide is forgivable.
“Forgiveness is the crux of the Christian faith. It’s at the center of who Jesus Christ is.”
Dumler said teens can often have a difficult time opening up emotionally and that fostering an unrelated activity can be a help.
“They can have a hard time talking, and even simple side-by-side activities like doing a puzzle or taking a walk can help with that,” she said. “Create some kind of routine, some one-on-one time that your teen can expect to have with you. That way, as parents and kids make their way through something like this, when they do think they need to talk, they also know there’s a time and safe place where they can do that.”
‘He lifted everyone around him’
Corna said he will most remember Foltz’s support for those around him.
“He didn’t just clear bars; he lifted everyone around him with his infectious energy and signature grin,” Corna said. “Whether he was cracking jokes or cheering louder than anyone for his teammates, ‘Lefty’ had a way of making every moment brighter.”
Foltz is survived by his father Jeremy Foltz, mother Jessica Werner and brother Carver Foltz; stepmother Nicola Campbell, stepfather Jason Werner, stepsister Yasmine Campbell, stepsister Madyson Campbell-Grendys and her husband, Evan Grendys; and grandparents Kenneth Foltz, Le Foltz, William Salomon Jr. and Stacy Salomon.
A memorial reception will be held from 10 a.m. to noon Saturday at Foltz’s home church, Murrysville Alliance, 4130 Old William Penn Highway. A noon memorial service will follow.
The family is asking in lieu of flowers that donations be made to Ray of Hope, Westmoreland County’s suicide awareness and prevention task force, at www.rayofhopewestmoreland.org/donation/.
Bash-Nied-Jobe Funeral Home, 152 Abbe Place, Delmont, is in charge of arrangements.
