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How, and when, to talk to your kids about school safety

Tanisha Thomas
| Sunday, December 5, 2021 6:00 a.m.

As school threats appear on the news and social media, parents may feel prompted to talk with their children about the topic.

The handling and subject of such conversations depend on the child’s age, said Amber Sparrow, a professional counselor who works at UPMC Children’s Community Pediatrics in Monroeville.

Sparrow advises that parents of children in preschool and kindergarten not talk about school threats. Introducing that degree of anxiety is not helpful because their children’s brains are still developing. The same goes for elementary kids who have a hard time expressing their feelings, Sparrow said.

“I tell parents to encourage them to draw because it is easier for them to get their feelings across,” she said.

Jim Gilson, a counselor at Penn Hills School District’s Linton Middle School, suggests that parents let their children’s questions be their guide on what to answer. Allowing kids to let out their feelings can help alleviate anxiety.

“You only fill in what they ask and reassure them that they are safe,” he said.

Teens in middle school and high school are better at communicating their feelings, Sparrow said. Giving them the support they need is important when checking in on them or giving them space.

Sparrow said she encourages parents to use age-appropriate words.

“Ask them what they know and allow them time to process their emotions,” she said.

When high school students begin to get anxiety from seeing various articles and news segments on school threats, parents should think about limiting their social media usage, Sparrow said. When they are feeling anxious, patience is key.

“When kids are feeling anxious, their behavior might change,” she said. “They may have more trouble focusing because of what happened.”