Lori Falce: Why Carl Nassib coming out matters
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When I was 20, I stood on the steps of Schwab Auditorium at Penn State as my dearest friend had a kind of confirmation. It was Coming Out Day, and people from across campus were declaring who they were inside.
Gay, lesbian, bisexual — they stood up, spoke the truth of their hearts and stepped into a life without hiding.
I wasn’t there to make a statement. I was there to be a hand to hold, a shoulder to lean on, a voice of support. I knew his truth and I loved him for trusting me with it.
I was also happy to be part of the campus community that showed such acceptance. There were cheers. There was applause. There was affirmation. True, there was also condemnation from the heckler who stood outside the Willard Building across the walk, but a wall of bodies assembled like the fortifications at a castle, shielding the vulnerable from attack.
I don’t know about the people standing up for their right to be themselves, but that support made me feel stronger for being part of a group of individuals choosing to be on the side of acceptance and love.
I felt the same way on Monday when Carl Nassib, a former Nittany Lion defensive end now playing for the Las Vegas Raiders, stood up on Instagram and made his own declaration. Nassib announced he is gay, becoming the first active NFL player to come out publicly.
He isn’t the first gay player. There have doubtless been many who stayed silent. About 14 former NFL players have come out, starting with David Kopay in 1975. They have waited until their careers are over to do so. A small handful of college players have also revealed their sexual identity — one of the first being Pennsylvania state Rep. Brian Sims, D-Philadelphia, during his time at Bloomsburg University.
But Nassib is a guy with a $25 million contract he just signed last year. He decided to be honest about who he is while still suiting up and taking the field with his team.
Once again, there is a wall of support.
“If you know Carl, you know his strength,” Penn State Coach James Franklin said in a statement. He also donated $10,000 to The Trevor Project, which works to battle LGBTQ youth suicide; Nassib donated $100,000.
Former Nittany Lion teammate Saquon Barkley, now a New York Giant, tweeted “Much respect brudda.”
Yet once again, there are the strident voices of the opposition too. On a Facebook group I follow, there is a litany of sneering contempt that I will not give the dignity of a quote. This from Penn State alumni and enthusiasts — many of whom still staunchly support Jerry Sandusky despite his 2012 child sex abuse conviction.
“Why is this news?” some ask. “Why does this matter?”
It matters because Nassib did more than put his money where his mouth is with his Trevor Project donation. He stood up on his platform, with everything to lose, and told those LGBTQ teens who attempt suicide at five times the rate of their straight classmates that there is something to live for — even on a football field.
It matters because it has been five years since the Pulse nightclub shooting in Orlando, and you would have thought we would be better. But at least 23 transgender people have been murdered this year.
It matters because 30 years after I stood outside Schwab with the Willard preacher peppering his abuse, there are still people who reply with hate to someone speaking their truth. It matters because people who trust us with who they are still need that hand to hold.