Rev. Erik Hoeke: What we mean when we pray for Damar Hamlin
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It seems the whole country is praying for a football player this week. In the midst of Damar Hamlin’s terrifying medical emergency Monday night in Cincinnati, players and coaches gathered to pray on the field. By the time he was taken off the field by ambulance, prayers for Damar were being lifted up by fellow NFL players, his college teammates and coaches from the University of Pittsburgh, broadcasters and journalists, and essentially anyone who had heard the news.
By Tuesday afternoon, #prayersforDamar was the trending hashtag, and ESPN analyst Dan Orlovsky led his co-hosts on NFL Live in an on-air prayer. An act usually witnessed only on Christian television stations was happening on “The Worldwide Leader in Sports.” It was a tremendous act of courage by both Orlovsky and the network to offer and air a public prayer in an age when religion is seen as a private matter.
But what do we mean when we “Pray for Damar” and invite others to pray as well?
Skeptics of prayer sometimes ask me what the point of prayer is. Do we really think we can control God? That if we ask God to heal someone, end suffering in the world, protect us from harm or find us a parking space, God will do it? Is prayer just a magical incantation to control the world around us, or something more?
We know that prayer won’t always result in healing, peace and safety. So why pray?
I interpret this week’s flood of prayers — even among those who aren’t religious — as an expression of faith. To pray for Damar is to believe that he is a person with inherent value. People did not pause to ask if Damar was good, kind or religious before praying for him. It’s because we all know, deep down, that human life has value; it is sacred. To say that we are praying for Damar Hamlin is to say that we believe his life has sacred worth regardless of who he is or what he has done. Yes, it has been heartwarming and inspiring to learn of Damar’s annual toy drive for his hometown of McKees Rocks, but would we not have prayed for him regardless?
I don’t believe Damar’s healing and recovery depends on our prayers. God does not tally up the number and frequency of prayers and then act as a result. When I pray for Damar, I express a desire for him to make a full recovery. But I do so in the same way I cheer for my own team: fervently hoping they will win, yet knowing that what I scream at the television in my living room will not dictate the game’s result. We are asking God for healing — not to dictate what God should do but rather to let God know where our heart is.
In this way, prayer is an act that helps align our heart and will with the heart and will of God. To pray is to step outside of our own needs and concerns and express what we believe God’s concern to be.
When we pray for Damar, what we are saying is that though we may not personally know him, the God who created him and continues to breathe life into him does, and loves him dearly. Prayer has a way of teaching us to love the things and people God loves. So because God loves Damar, we love Damar.
Prayer is also an act of compassion extended to Damar’s family, teammates and community. In a statement released Tuesday, Damar’s family acknowledged being “deeply moved by the prayers, kind words and donations from fans across the country. … Your generosity and compassion mean the world to us.” As a pastor, I have often witnessed the power of prayer to support and strengthen those who are suffering. Knowing others are praying for us, or for our loved one, has the power to encourage us and keep us going. I am certain that is true for Damar’s family, teammates and friends this week.
As Orlovsky prayed on Tuesday, he expressed the emotions most of us feel in times like this: “We’re sad, we’re angry and we want answers but some things are unanswerable.” And then, rather than plead for answers or specific outcomes, he simply prayed for strength, healing and comfort for Damar, and peace for Damar’s family. May we pray the same, and hope for God to continue breathing life into Damar Hamlin today, tomorrow and many more days to come.
The Rev. Erik Hoeke is an ordained United Methodist minister and works as a writer for Pittsburgh Theological Seminary.