Rev. Martin R. Bartel: The buck (of incivility) stops here

Having inaugurated the 47th president this week, it is worth reflecting on the example set by Harry S. Truman, our 33rd president. Truman was known for a sign that sat on his desk in the Oval Office: The buck stops here. This sign, crafted at an Oklahoma Federal Reformatory, symbolized Truman’s commitment to taking ultimate responsibility for decisions.

In his farewell address in 1953, Truman famously stated, “The president … has to decide. He can’t pass the buck to anybody.” In this spirit, we too can choose to take responsibility — especially in the face of rising incivility.

The saying originated with the poker game, in which a marker or counter was used to indicate the person whose turn it was to deal. If you didn’t want to deal, you could “pass the buck” to the next person.

Just as Truman refused to pass the buck in his leadership, we must also take responsibility for combating the incivility that increasingly defines our interactions. Too often, the harsh tone of today’s discourse feels like an insurmountable wave of negativity — one that many feel powerless to counter.

Most everyone would agree that incivility and toxicity are rising in our society. Does anyone pass a single day without some personal experience of the discomfort, even fear, associated with such negative behavior? Yet, what can a person do to stop, or at least slow, the downward trend of interpersonal interactions?

Let the buck of incivility stop with us!

Instead of escalating the infection of incivility by continuing its spread, stop it! A respectful, even-keeled response of, “I don’t appreciate the disrespect,” may be called for, but not tit for tat, not incivility for incivility, poison for poison. Let the implied motion for rudeness die for lack of a second. Counter the prevailing tendency of harshness with personal intentionality for promoting esteem.

Let the buck of hatred, angry speech, foul talk and violent language stop with us.

Let the buck of threats, harm, name-calling and derision stop with us.

Let the buck of dishonesty, condescension, arrogance and character assassination stop with us.

Let the buck of nasty emails, vitriolic posts, online harassment and unfounded reports stop with us.

Choose to honor others, engage them with empathy, compassion and respect, and foster an attitude of valuing their personhood. Stop incivility and toxicity dead in their tracks with antithetical behavior on our part.

Another president, Abraham Lincoln, challenged us when another conflict far greater than incivility gripped our nation:

“The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely, they will be, by the better angels of our nature.” (First Inaugural Address)

There is an ancient Zen parable evoking a return to and the eventual victory of “the better angels of our nature.”

One day, a monk was walking alongside a stream when he saw a scorpion struggling in the water. Knowing that scorpions cannot swim, he knelt to scoop it out of the water.

Just before he set it down, the scorpion turned and stung his hand. The monk withdrew his pained hand, and the scorpion fell back into the stream.

When the monk realized this, he scooped his hands down again to save the scorpion. And just as before, the scorpion stung his hand and fell back into the stream. This scene repeated itself several times.

A little boy playing nearby asked, “Excuse me. Why do you keep trying to save the scorpion? Don’t you know it will just sting you every time you try to rescue it?”

The monk, picking up a leaf and rescuing the scorpion successfully this time, replied, “Dear boy, just because it is a scorpion’s nature to sting, I will not abandon my nature to save.”

This fable reminds us that, even when faced with adversity or hostility, we must not forsake our better nature. We must persist in choosing civility, even when others respond with negativity. Our commitment to respect and kindness can become a force that shapes the world around us.

In the face of rising incivility, it is easy to become disillusioned. But if we take responsibility — just as Truman did, and as Lincoln envisioned — we can choose to spread a culture of respect. Let the better angels of our nature guide our actions and interactions, and in doing so, may we set a contagious example of civility for all to follow.

Rev. Martin Bartel is archbishop of Saint Vincent Archabbey, Latrobe.