U mad, bro?: Fans want Penguins to wake up, suggest moving Erik Karlsson to wing

Here’s my personal “U mad, bro?” submission for this week: I’m mad that Nov. 1 isn’t a national holiday.

Kids should get Nov. 1 off so they can stay out late and trick-or-treat under cover of darkness as all the unholy ghosts, witches and goblins intended. Halloween was not meant to take place at 6:30 in the evening in 75-degree heat in Pittsburgh.

I’m going trick-or-treating with nieces and nephews Thursday night. I’ll be dressed in a fully stuffed banana costume. Don’t ask. Long story. But if your 4-year-old niece says, “Be a banana for Halloween,” you buy a banana costume. That’s how you become the fun uncle in the family.

The problem is, I’m going to be sweating my peel off in that thing. It’d at least be a little cooler at night. She couldn’t have asked me to be, like, a lifeguard or something?

But that’s my problem, not yours. Plenty of you have some sports-related “U mad, bro?” entries. So, let’s get to those.

Trick-Or-Treat!

We begin with an email from “JJpainter62.” He has a plan that will solve all the Penguins’ problems.

“Heres’ an idea…the Pens lack offense and the defense, especially Karlsson, is just pitiful. Move him and his 100+ pt season from two years ago to wing. It’s not like defense is a priority for him.”

Congratulations, Kris Letang. You’ve been replaced. You’ve stayed in Pittsburgh long enough to finally pass the torch.

“Move Erik Karlsson to wing” > “Move Kris Letang to wing.”

The king is dead, long live the king.

During this week’s “Madden Monday” podcast, Mark Madden of TribLive and 105.9 The X suggested the current losing streak of the Penguins may be taking an emotional toll on the Penguins’ veterans, including Letang and Sidney Crosby. A reader named “Darrell” disagrees.

“The mental issue may be a tongue and online issue to Madden but not to ppl like Letang and Crosby Who do not dwell in the mental barage in a few games over the entire season based on a week of play.”

Sorry, Darrell, but the “mental bar(r)age” you referenced has lasted much longer than a few games into this season. The Penguins missed the playoffs the last two years. The last time this franchise won a playoff series was in 2018.

For context, Donald Trump was just two years into his term in the White House. No one knew what a “coronavirus” was. Both of Ben Roethlisberger’s elbows still worked. By that point, the weirdest thing Antonio Brown had ever done was call himself “Ronald.”

The Penguins have been mediocre or worse for a long time now. Their issues are much more than “tongue and online.”

That’s also kind of a weird way to describe them, by the way. But, whatever.

This guy was unhappy with Broderick Jones’ performance against the New York Giants Monday night.

@BobMcPgh @TimBenzPGH Broderick Jones may be having the worst game I've ever seen a tackle have ...including Mike Adams

— KickSmark My Heart (@TP7187) October 29, 2024

Or since … Broderick Jones in Denver last month?

After the Penguins’ 4-0 loss in Edmonton over the weekend, I was pretty fed up.

Ok, we’re done here #Pens

— Tim Benz (@TimBenzPGH) October 26, 2024

This guy agreed.

I’m thinking the same way. Losing like this may change some attitudes. They’re getting embarassed.

— Denny Casciotti (@yossa72) October 26, 2024

I dunno, Denny. You can’t embarrass those who are too arrogant to ever feel shame or embarrassment.

This week, the NFL Network reported that New York Giants’ receiver Darius Slayton is likely off the trade table unless the Giants are “blown away” by an offer from the Steelers or some other team. Steve thinks team owners Art Rooney II and John Mara should intervene.

“The Rooney’s and Mara’s are lifelong close friends and even share bloodlines. If Art II asks a family friend in John Mara for a favor, and it’s not silly or ridiculously low in return compensation, then I don’t see a trade like this being a problem. Asking to be blown away is cute but also BS. My rendition of blown away is a 3rd round pick to anyone else but the Steelers and for them a conditional 4th. Seeing as how in the future the Steelers would be more than willing to scratch their back the next time a favor is needed by them. It’s what family does.

Art and the Steelers can make this happen if they want. All they have to do is pick up the phone and call a friend.”

Steve, Rooney II and Mara are owners of billion-dollar teams in a multi-billion-dollar sport. I don’t think their business dealings extend to relatively mundane matters, such as trades involving a mid-tier No. 2 receiver in exchange for a third-day draft pick.

I think you are attaching a little bit too much of a “Godfather” mentality to these potential trade talks. I think the underbosses named “Sonny” Khan and “Bruno” Schoen probably have the authority to work this one out on their own.

But if Khan wants to make an offer the Giants can’t refuse, just dangle out a fourth-round pick. After all, Carolina only got a fifth-round pick from Baltimore in exchange for Diontae Johnson.

via GIPHY

Finally, Mike doesn’t like “U mad, bro?” At least I think Mike doesn’t like “U Mad, bro?”

“Trying to make heads or tails out of this week’s column. Just because a person has an opinion or something approaching it, doesn’t make it valid. If I ran into such a person, expouusing whatever, I’d be like, ‘Okay, whatever. Have a nice day!’”

Here’s the problem. I don’t know what “column” you are talking about. You didn’t specify. I post about 12-15 items a week. Not just one.

I’m guessing you mean, “U mad, bro?” because you are talking about other people’s opinions. But that’s the whole point of the idea, Mike. I want to give other people an outlet to (in your words) “expouuse” their opinions about various topics, and this is the best way to do that.

Even if some of those opinions involve moving Erik Karlsson to wing.

You don’t want just me “expouusing” my own opinions all the time. What fun is that? I don’t need to “expouuse” myself in public every day.

In fact, that may be illegal, now that I think about it.

LISTEN: Tim Benz and Brian Metzer discuss the Penguins losing streak.